August
1, 2005 cont.--Dr. Thadani asked me if I would like for her to prescribe something
to take the edge off of my anxiety. That sounded good to me. She said that a little
Xanax would help me sleep better. I told her that I had been having unusual fatigue,
and she said that it was not the cancer doing that to me, just the stress of it
all. I know it is taking it's toll on Lee too. This has not been a good year for
him. Oh yes, we talked about a radiation oncologist also. Sue had told me about
Dr. Nuesch at Texas Oncology. She thinks he is just terrific. I thought I might
use him. At first I wasn't concerned about going to South Austin for treatments.
But, after thinking about it, perhaps it would be better to have them closer to
work or home, which would be north. The radiation treatments are 5 days a week
for 6 weeks. Everything I've read said they really kick your butt.
Some customers
that I know fairly well called me on the phone at work today. I told them about
my situation. They all said they were going to pray for me. One is a Catholic,
and she said she would go to church and light a candle for me. That is just so
sweet. I am truly blessed by such love. August
2, 2005--I hope the 3rd time is the charm. Dreamweaver has crashed on
me twice as I've tried to write today's entry. Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I
almost felt high today. I've been so upbeat that I'm scaring myself. It must be
all the prayers that have been said on my behalf. Thank you Jesus!!!!
This
evening I spoke to a representative from a N.Y. law firm concerning the possibility
of suing Wyeth, maker of Prempro, the dirty bastards. We don't know where this
is going, but stay tuned. Maybe we'll take everyone to someplace exotic next year.
My cousin Julie and I spoke this evening. She has been through this mess herself,
11 years ago. Julie says that, if the surgeon doesn't get "clean margins,"
when he does the surgery and tries to tell me that they can get the rest with
chemo, to insist that they go back in and get the rest, even if it means mastectomy
and reconstruction. She knows lots of women that have been told that story, and
they're not here any more. Julie volunteers with the American
Cancer Society. I trust her judgement.
My first shipment from Netflix
arrived today. It is 2 DVDs of Fawlty Towers, that goofy British comedy series
that John Cleese did about 25-30 years ago. We used to watch them on PBS when
the kids were little. They're hysterical. It is all part of my devious plan to
keep laughing and stay positive.
In that vein, I'm going to share these images
that a friend emailed me today. They made me laugh out loud.
| August
4, 2005--I got a good laugh today. My cousins in Dodge
City, Don and Donna, sent me a T shirt commemorating the Testicle Festival.
Don and Donna are 2 of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet, and I would
think so even if they weren't family. The T shirt is hysterical. Only in Kansas
would you find such a celebration, Boot Hill Bull Fry & Bash.  I
do have to say that Kansas does have some partyin' fools. I should know, having
been one myself for several years. I may be wishing I had some of that ditch weed
here in a month or 2.
I've gotten some get well cards in the mail from dear
friends. It is so nice of folks to do that for me. Thank you Debby, Jenn, Pete
& Inga, and to Joy, who had her Sunday School class pray for me and sign the
card. Now that is Christian love. I appreciate all the beautiful sentiments that
have been expressed to me. Cathy H. at work gave me 2 (count em') cards today.
What a sweetheart. And she is getting me on her church's prayer list. All right!!!
I
had a nice visit on the phone with one of my customers, Maxine, who went through
this last year. She was very supportive and has lots of wisdom to share about
the ordeal.
A little front blew through here this evening. We didn't get any
rain out of it, but it cooled the temp down into the 70's. So I took the dog for
a walk. I enjoy that so much. We live fairly near the Lower Colorado River, which
is a good sized stream, about 100 yards across. It is just rejuvenating to walk
down there. I hope I will be able to get back to that after all the treatment
I'm going to have to go through.
I've stopped listening to talk radio and switched
over to music. I rock to some of my old faves while I'm in the car. I think it
gets my endorphins flowing. Those idiots on the talk radio just get my blood pressure
up. I don't need to dwell on all the horrible news right now. Bring 'em on, indeed.. August
5, 2005--25 Years
ago today my first child was born. It was such a joyous occasion. I wish I could
capture some of that wonderful emotion I felt then. I guess I did get a tiny glimpse
of it today when a co-worker announced that her long sought after pregnancy is
a fait accompli. However, it was short-lived. Cyrus told me not to look at a lot
of stuff on the internet about breast cancer. I should have heeded her warning.
Turns out that women who took Prempro and got breast cancer had larger tumors
than ones who didn't take Prempro but got breast cancer anyway. It actually occurred
to me that this could take me out. I've been avoiding having that thought.
I
got an email from my aunt in Guatemala today. She was congratulating Cecily on
her 25th birthday. Not having her email address, she sent it to me so I could
forward on to Cecily, which I did. I had been thinking about writing to my aunt
to tell her about my predicament. Sending her an email seemed much more efficient,
so that is what I did. My aunt has a new email address. Now that I have it, I
fired off a message. I don't imagine she will take it very well. She lost her
sister (my mother) to endometrial cancer that metastasized at age 60 and her brother
to pancreatic cancer when he was 75.. For the record, Mom took HRT also, back
in the early 70's. I can only imagine how strong that stuff was back then. While
I'm giving an accounting of cancer in the family, my dad died of non-Hodgkins
lymphoma just shy of his 83rd birthday.
A footnote to my entry of Aug. 4th--I
found out that there are testicle festivals celebrated from Montana to Wisconsin.
And here I thought Kansas was so special!
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